photo by Stephanie Chok
City of Lost Children
HER WORLD magazine, Singapore, June 2002
This article first appeared in HER WORLD magazine, June 2002. HER WORLD is Singapore's leading women's monthly.
*Some names have been changed to protect the identity of those involved.
There are an estimated 15, 000 child prostitutes in Phnom Penh, Cambodia.Stephanie Chok meets the lucky ones during a two-week volunteer stint with Sok Sabay, a shelter for mistreated children rescued from the clutches of poverty and pedophilia.
Today was my first day at Sok Sabay (www.soksabay.com). And in all my 28 years, I have never felt as much in need of a (stiff) drink as today. When I meet Marie Cammal, 49 - she's the French nurse that founded Sok Sabay - at 8a.m, we walk from my hotel to the Cambodian Defenders Project to seek their advice regarding adoption papers for Sok Sabay.
Through friends, Marie has found suitable parents for two little boys, Meng and Onh, and because of red tape the paperwork is dragging on needlessly. We're received in a run-down office. Workers look up for a brief moment, then resume typing in the semi-dark as if nothing has happened. After a lengthy and slightly emotional exchange, Marie realizes they are unable to help. We leave. Mission unaccomplished.
Next stop - a nearby hotel to pick up Sopheak, the cousin of Marie's adopted daughter. A harrowing history lesson speeds up the walk.
Sopheak, also an orphan, was rescued by Marie from abusive employers when she was 13 and placed in an orphanage. Marie's sister even fostered Sopheak through a recognized French association. Marie then left for France and returned eight months later, only to discover that Sopheak, far from being protected, had been raped and sold by her uncle to a brothel in Phnom Penh.
That was in 1994. For the next four years, a distraught Marie searched red-light districts for Sopheak and became acquainted with a nightmarish underworld. One where young girls are caged up like rabbits - exhibited in rows according to their "beauty" (fairer, younger ones up in front). Where prostitutes, some as young as seven, are beaten with barbed wire, starved and subjected to electric shocks. Some are made to service up to 25 clients a day. On one occasion, some girls who were bound to their bed were burnt alive when their living quarters caught fire.
Rescue Mission
These horrific sights prompted Marie to set up Sok Sabay, to save and protect these young girls. She fought for two years to find sponsors, and battled monsters from sexual predators to pure indifference. She persisted and Sok Sabay was established in September 1996.
A year later, Sopheak was found - thanks to a French man known by locals as "knight of the little flowers". This "knight" risked his life to snatch girls imprisoned in brothels and Marie had given him a photo of Sopheak - he eventually found her in a brothel in Sihanoukville.
But the damage had been done. Marie said it was months before Sopheak would even speak to her.
The under-aged sex slave was raped by almost 20 men daily, and was beaten with barbed wire if she complained. She had her hymen stitched up three times so she could be re-sold as a "virgin". She was also raped and brutally tortured by an official, and is currently living with the HIV virus. She is all of 22.
We hop on a motor taxi (basically a rusty old motorbike) and head to Sok Sabay. I wonder what the dynamics are at a shelter for children who have been sold, raped, tortured and abandoned.
Horror Stories
We arrive at a large house located in the suburbs of Phnom Penh. Marie avoids signage at the sanctuary, as pedophiles, pimps and child traffickers are a real threat. I meet Meng and Onh.
Meng is all of three years old and was found, a year ago, bruised, starved and beaten, his belly filled with worms, his body scarred with cigarette burns.
Onh, a chubby-cheeked 17-month old, was about to be sold by his mother and suffering from severe pneumonia, when Marie rescued him. The little fighter recovered quickly and is now nicknamed "King Kong of Cambodia".
I'm given a tour of the breezy, sunlit shelter and we step into Chris's room. The four-year old boy is blind, deaf and mute. He was picked up from under a tree, where he was left to die. Marie states, quite plainly, that if you're handicapped, or infected with HIV in this country, you're treated worse than trash.
Living Nightmare
The health status of Cambodian children is one of the worst in the world, says the NGO(non-government organization) Committee on the Rights of the Child. There are 40,000 deaths a year for children under the age of five, and almost 200, 000 Cambodians are HIV positive - 30, 000 are children. By 2003, an estimated 40, 000 children will their parents die to Aids.
While TIME Asia putS the number of child prostitutes in Cambodia at 20, 000, another publication estimated there were 10 000 - 15 000 child prostitutes in Phnom Penh alone, of which 31 per cent are between the ages of 12 and 17. And 50 percent of girl prostitutes are also sold by their relatives or friends.
It's hard to imagine that prostitution was once outlawed in Cambodia from 1975-1979, when it was ruled by the Khmer Rouge. It resurfaced in the 1980s but escalated between 1991 and 1993, when 22,000 UN peacekeepers descended on Cambodia in an operation known as UNTAC (United Nations Transitional Authority in Cambodia), designed to help end the long-running civil war and get the war-ravaged country get back on its feet.
The number of prostitutes rose from 6,000 in 1991 to 20, 000 the following year. In fact, when Prime Minister Hun Sen was asked in 1998, what UNTAC's legacy was, he replied: "AIDS."
As we stroll past a room toward the balcony, Marie sweeps through a shelf of toys and discovers mutilated dolls. She pulls them out one by one and sorts out those that can be mended. Limbs are missing, eyes roll back, hair has been ripped off, and the entire back of one doll was missing, as if the child wanted to disembowel it. Marie explains that some of the girls are so tortured by their suffering as child prostitutes, incest victims, and sex slaves that their trauma is manifested in how they treat their dolls.
Phnom Penh 101
Marie and I meet in a French cafˆ© for breakfast and are discussing details of the third Sok Sabay newsletter, the reason why I'm in Phnom Penh in the first place. When I met Marie in Singapore last June and offered to help, she said she needed someone to write Sok Sabay's next newsletter, which goes out to existing and potential sponsors and donors. It was an ideal arrangement
Over startlingly strong coffee, Marie gives me a crash course on the status of children in Cambodia. There are 40 kids under her care (three are boys),
and as I'm introduced to the children of Sok Sabay I learn about Srei Koh, 17, who was almost sold by her mother for a set of gold teeth. And Kim, 12, who was sold from age 2 and has suffered constant rape and abuse. Sorya, 13, was raped by her uncle.
Marie also rescued a family of sisters who were tortured by their father, a former Khmer Rouge. Their original names were so confusing, Marie nicknamed them Do, Re, Mi, Fa, Sol, La, Si.
Endless Crusade
Pedophiles flock to Cambodia because their chances of getting caught in this lawless state are as low as that of being convicted. She knows of officials who pay for "young virgins" and own brothels themselves, but Marie is aware that these battles aren't hers to fight. "My job is not to chase pedophiles. My job is to protect these girls. And I will not jeopardize the safety of my girls and my shelter for anything."
Marie mentions that a French airline currently bans pedophiles with a criminal record from boarding its flights, and prays that more airlines will do the same. Maybe then the flow of sex-hungry tourists can be stemmed. Wealthy Asian businessmen from Taiwan, China, Japan and Korea especially believe that sex with a virgin will renew their vigor - many will pay a premium to brothel owners for an "unsoiled" girl, after which her "value" drops drastically.
A fear of Aids also means more men desire virgins - who keep getting younger and younger. Disturbingly, ECPAT (End Child Prostitution in Asian Tourism) says children as young as four have been sold into sexual slavery. The demand for virgins also means more girls are getting their hymens stitched up so they can be resold.
We're interrupted suddenly when a frail-looking girl approaches our table to ask Marie for help. The stranger, who looks no more than 19, wants Marie to visit a home, where she says a little girl, whose parents died three years ago, is being abused by her aunt and needs to be rescued.
A surreal conversation takes place, where Marie tries to establish if the stranger, who claims she heard the story from her friend's sister, is telling the truth. Some poor families spin sob stories in the hope that NGOs will take their child away. "No one has enough to eat in Cambodia," Marie says. "I want to know how mistreated this girl is." In the end, Marie decides we should go take a look.
Unwanted, unloved
Heang, Marie's male assistant, comes with us for the visit. Heang, a 21 year-old Khmer, is reassuringly dedicated to Sok Sabay. Marie explains that she does not shy away from employing male staff, especially teachers, because she wants the girls to have positive male role models. Heang is still being trained by Marie and his role today is to learn how to negotiate with the girl's family.
When we arrive at the house (they're rich by Cambodian standards), a bony little girl with saucer-sized eyes hovers by the gate. We soon learn that her name is Sok Kah, she is six, her parents died of AIDS, and nobody wants her.
As she perches timidly on the living room table, Heang tries to put the child at ease as adults drift in and out of the room. The adults' stories are convoluted, inconsistent. Yes, she gets locked up, no she doesn't, sometimes she gets beaten, oh, but only when she's naughty, she eats on her own because she wants to, well actually, because she eats so slowly.
Sok Kah's aunt, a large and ungainly figure, finally waddles into the room and it's apparent she can't wait to get rid of her niece. While sitting in front of her big-screen TV, she continually asks Marie to take Sok Kah away and moans about how she's too poor to buy the girl a single toy. Marie snaps at the clearly overweight woman : "You're too fat to be poor!"
The aunt's mother-in-law strolls in and points at Sok Kah as if the timid six year-old were Satan. "Her father was Khmer Rouge you know," she hisses. "It's not her fault," Marie maintains.
Everyone gets shoo-ed out of the room then, so we can speak to Sok Kah alone. The confused child hangs on tight to Heang's hand as he asks her question after question.
We learn that she is locked in the house all day by herself. She is allowed out for a short while to buy cake - her teeth are mangled and her gums severely infected. She never eats a meal with the family. She sleeps on her own, on a blanket by the wall by the living room. She is clearly afraid and despite the fact that she is surrounded by adults who are dying to be rid of her, whispers "No, I don't really get mistreated. It's just that nobody loves me."
Marie agrees to take her, and tells the family to prepare the paperwork (papers are needed to verify that the child was willingly handed over - just in case some psychotic families decide to accuse the shelter of abduction). Heang tells Sok Kah that we will be coming back to collect her, that she will soon be able to go to school, and play, and read. She works up a hesitant smile.
As I walk by the supermarket on my way back, I look at the families who squat by the alleyways, their young four, five kids running naked and covered in a layer of dust. I wonder how long they are going to keep their children, and if loving a child becomes more difficult when you have nothing to eat.
New Kid on the Block
Sok Kah's paperwork is sorted and she arrives at Sok Sabay. According to Heang, the little tyke was waiting by the door, all packed and ready to go. Her life's possessions fit loosely into a paper bag. There were no shoes in the bag, and not a single piece of underwear either.
Marie gives her a new name, for her new life - she'll be called Delphine from now on, after a dear friend of Marie's. Taking to her newfound liberty with what seemed like delirium, Delphine was soon running, grinning, laughing, hugging and blowing kisses with abandon. In fact, as I spend more time with the rest of the children at Sok Sabay, I discover within them an innate survival mechanism - it's as if they know that their primary mission in life as a child is to laugh, smile, sing, dance and leap around madly. If only they get the chance to.
The Edge, Singapore, May 20, 2002
This article is reprinted with permission from The Edge, Singapore. It first appeared in the fortnightly business paper's May 20, 2002 issue.
Rebuilding lives
Marie Cammal's is a message of second chances. Affendie Senin and Steve Loh meet the courageous woman during her fund-raising visit to Singapore, and discover a life that is bringing profound change to many others.
"I saw children that were being tortured. They were beaten and given electric shocks. Some had to service 20 to 25 clients a day. Some girls were even burnt alive when their hut caught fire because they were tied to their beds." - Marie Cammal
It's a familiar story that's told of the children of Cambodia. Only this time, it's being told by Marie Cammal, the 50 year-old Frenchwoman who has spent the last seven years of her life running Sok Sabay, a centre for mistreated and sexually abused girls in Cambodia. Sadly, the circumstances under which the shelter was formed hit close to home. Cammal was spurred to act when a cousin of her adopted daughter was sold into sexual slavery, and she began a desperate bid to rescue the relative.
Her mission proved successful, in more ways than one. Today, she is extending that same helping hand to many others with similar stories, all at Sok Sabay.
Happiness, Khmer Style
Sok Sabay means "happiness" in Khmer. For Cambodian teenager Srei Oun, the name has come to mean a safe haven too. Before Srei found a home in Sok Sabay, she had spent almost a year in a brothel in Phnom Penh where she suffered abuse and torture, after refusing to service more than 10 men a day.
Like many girls sold into prostitution by their families, Srei had to be rescued.
Sok Sabay is located in Phnom Penh, Cambodia, where poverty and child prostitution is rampant. Cammal's goal is to help these children find a new direction in life. Her vision is to provide a refuge for girls who have been sold into child prostitution, raped, tortured, abandoned or forced into slavery.
Playing Florence Nightingale is somewhat of a family tradition for Cammal. "When I was very young, my mother used to bring me along when she visited very poor people and I always thought it would be nice to make a career out of helping the less fortunate. Also, my grandfather helped to save the lives of Jewish people during the war. I think the passion has been passed down to me, to do some form of medical and social work for others."
Sok Sabay's goal is to help the girls rebuild their self-esteem, regain their dignity and resume their education. The ultimate objective is empowerment, to help them gain control of their lives.
Powering the success of the centre is Cammal's driving passion for protecting the innocent, which doesn't always manifest itself in logic. "There was one occasion where I saw a Thai soldier holding a stick, beating a boy who was disguised as a girl, since only girls were allowed rice rations," she says, recalling the incident. "He was about to strike the boy again when I went to him and held back his hand. That was blind courage because he could have shot me if I was a local. But thank God I am foreign, and he just let me off. But I could hear all the Cambodians giggling at my heroics."
Yet, it's precisely this "blind courage" that has provided a new lease of life for many victims of child prostitution, and it's not something they take for granted. A rescued child known only as Ruen says of her life in Sok Sabay: "I am like a princess - I can study, sleep and eat in a very clean place."
Girls like Ruen receive medical and psychological care, and get re-integrated into the education program. Sok Sabay even provides vocational training in subjects such as computer studies and cooking, as well as lessons in English and French, together with recreational activities like traditional Khmer dance and pottery.
Renewed lives
Thanks to Cammal, Ruen is now far away from the dark days that still haunt her. But, while the French nurse relentlessly perseveres on a daily basis, she doesn't believe things are getting any better, and admits that the war on child slavery and prostitution is a losing one.
"Actually, it's getting worse around the world. It's one of the great human tragedies of the 20th century - war and child prostitution. The main problem, I think, is that people are losing their faith, be it the Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Taoists or Buddhists. They think they can be free to kill, to sell their wives, buy and sell children. The world is getting crazier by the day, which is scary."
Cammal should know. After all, practically all of the girls at Sok Sabay had been snatched from brothels, sometimes by militants from human rights organisations. One year after opening her centre, when she had lost all hope of finding her adopted daughter's cousin, Sophan, Cammal met a man named Jacques, better known as the "knight of the little flowers". Jacques, who regularly put his life at risk by entering brothels and rescuing children, literally plucked Sophan from the clutches of evil, and brought her to Sok Sabay. But that was only the beginning of the rescue. Sophan couldn't stand to look at herself in the mirror. She tried to commit suicide several times. She wouldn't even talk to Marie for months.
Sophan's four-year nightmare in brothels is a heartbreaking tale of unthinkable abuse. She recounts how she had been forced into having sex with up to 20 men a day. She'd also been stitched up several times and sold as a virgin. And if that wasn't enough, she was whipped with barbed wire.
Today, Sophan's tale is a source of inspiration to those around her. She works at Sok Sabay to help take care of the children, becoming a role model to the other victims. In her, Cammal sees a rescue that is complete, as Sophan is a fully rehabilitated success story. "Usually, when they have been at the centre for about five years or when they reach the age of 19, we need to find opportunities for them. There are two girls who will be continuing their studies in England. We have to find something to match the girls' capabilities and interests."
Nonetheless, Cammal acknowledges that the running of Sok Sabay is far from being like clockwork: "Every day is a challenge. Cambodia is still far from being like Singapore in every sense. Every minute of your life is challenging in Cambodia. It's hard to breathe, hard to get clean water, hard to get electricity, hard to get through your job without accidents. You also need to keep track of all the children's lives, make sure they are not traumatized, that they get to school safely, that they get proper meals.
"You've got to practice a life of Zen. If not, you'll go insane. Setting up Sok Sabay is the biggest sacrifice I have made. Even though I love what I am doing, it has not been an easy ride. Cambodia is a very, very difficult country to live in and work."
Certainly, it takes someone who's tough to last the ride. To walk a mile in Cammal's shoes, at least, will take a little more than a willing heart, and her advice for those who would dare is simple: "They need to be in good health. They need to have the courage, the strength and the faith... especially faith."
-Nov.-2005.jpg)
